’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times....�� The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and. I apologized.“You don’t have to apologize. It is kind of flattering. Just don’t you have a girlfriend or something where you come from?” she asked. That was flattering to ME that she thought I was handsome enough to have a girlfriend.“Yeah,” I lied. I don’t know why I lied. I do know. I didn’t want to seem lame enough not to leave somebody behind. I could always say she and I broke up. I was already inventing what state she was from and what her name was in case I needed any background. “No!” I groaned with a pout. She was right, of course, and I let my best string of Cockney dialect dissolve back into my subconscious. Her eyes twinkled with amusement, then she said more seriously, “I work for your wife…” “And you’re going out with my best mate,” I whispered back. “Yeah,” she breathed softly, her eyes moistening. She ran her fingers through her thick, damp hair, tucking as much of it as she could behind her ear. The domed walls of the tent had turned everything a muted tone of. I thanked him for his compliment and asked him if he fancied coming round to our house and fucking her, once i explained to him about how susan gets drunk and will do absolutly anything and in the morning could never remember anything he readily agreed, i gave him our address and asked him to come round with his mate about a hour after i took susan home.i went back out to the bar and sat back down with susan, before we left for home i had bought her another three double bacardi and cokes and by.
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